Seven Years of Love: Chapter 17

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Chapter 17


Anders awoke to the sound of Jemica scurrying around in her oversized armor. The rest of his companions were still asleep and he noticed that Hawke had been next to him during his slumber.
If only I could hold her, every night and every day.
“Oh stop that!” Someone hissed from the far side of the cave.
Anders raised his head to find Jemica staring at him with a look of annoyance. He walked quietly to her to see what the fuss was about.
“Stop what?” He asked.
“Makers breath, if you love her you wouldn’t be doing this…”
Anders’ cheeks immediately turned red. “What? No. No. No. I think you have the wrong idea.”
Jemica snorted. “Please, you’re so obvious that you should just have a tattoo that says ‘I’m madly in love with Hawke’.”
Am I that obvious? Anders could do no more to deny it, he only sighed. “You don’t understand.”
“Okay, enlighten me,” the dwarven woman said.
“I’m a monster.”
“A little annoying, maybe,” Jemica japed. “But a monster—”
“I will hurt her.”
“You’re hurting her already.”
Anders rubbed the bridge of his nose. Carver had told him the same thing as he was being marched off to the Wardens. “I’m sure Hawke doesn’t return my affections.”
“You have to be blind and stupid to see that Hawke—”
“To see that Hawke what?” A voice said from behind them.
Anders spun around to come face to face with Hawke. “To see that Hawke…”
Hawke smiled and tweaked his nose. “It’s fine Anders. I know you wouldn’t say anything offensive about me or I’d freeze you where you stood.”
Anders laughed nervously, his ears burning as Hawke skipped off to wake her other friends. He turned to Jemica, who had a knowing grin on her face.
“I suggest we get moving,” he remarked when everyone was awake. His ears were ringing and the sooner he got fresh air the better.
Isabela let out a huge yawn. “Let’s go then. I’m ready to get out of this place.”
Hawke lead the way as Anders followed sullenly. Fenris managed to get into a conversation with Jemica about swords of all things and Isabela hung back in order to get next to Varric.
“Our pact is going rather badly,” she said.
Varric chuckled. “Tell me about it… Carver get’s shipped off to the Wardens. Merrill’s obsessed with an intimate object. Hawke’s completely oblivious to everything and Anders won’t give in.”
“To top it off we’re trapped in a cave.”
“Second time for me,” Varric said.
“Hawke?!” A voice from the far side of the cave yelled.
Hawke stopped in her tracks causing Jemica to bump into her. The voice had come from no one in the group. It sounded like…
Merrill came bumbling down the cave with Aveline by her side. They were covered in dirt, but rather unharmed. Merrill pulled Hawke into a large hug.
“Merrill!? What are you doing here?!” Hawke asked.
“Leandra sent us, she was worried something happened to you and she was right.” Aveline commented.
“How did you—” Anders began to ask.
“We had some help,” Merrill said.
“From who?” Isabela asked.
“Come on!” Merrill said cheerfully as she escorted them to a giant hole in the cave. It looked like an explosion, on the other side stood Sandal, the dwarf from The Deep Roads and his father Bodahn. Hawke noticed that Darktown was behind them… This cave lead all the way to the sewers of Darktown…
“Boom,” Sandal said when he saw them.
“Did he do this?” Hawke asked in amazement.
Merrill nodded. “I’ve never seen anything like it Hawke.”
“When I heard you were in trouble my boy and I couldn’t sit around. We had to help!” Bodhan declared cheerfully. “Sandal has these special runes and they were put to good use.”
Aveline put a hand on Hawke’s shoulder. “Let’s get you home.”

OOO

When everyone went to their respective homes the first order of business for Anders was a bath. It was a luxury that he usually did not partake on, but it was a special occasion.
After he finished his bath night was upon him. He changed into trousers when he heard a rapping on his door. That was odd… The lanterns were not lit. It could be Templars… Anders quickly grabbed his staff and opened the door.
He heaved a sigh of relief when it was only Hawke. “May I come in?” She asked.
Anders nodded as she walked into the clinic. There was something different about her tonight… Her hair was down and in those waves, she smelled of fresh lilies, and she was wearing her usual armor. She looked more beautiful than ever…
Anders nearly slapped himself. He needed to stop this. It was becoming an unhealthy obsession. “What brings you here tonight?” He asked.
Hawke bit her lip and blushed. Makers breath, why does she do that!? “My mother is trying to set me up with other nobles, she wants me to get married.”
Anders heart dropped. She couldn’t… “I can’t imagine you married,” he said forcing himself to chuckle.
“Believe me... I’m better at killings things than I am being a housewife.” She said. “Anders?”
He leaned back against one of his tables to support himself. Hawke married… His one true love, his reason for fighting, his strength. The thought of her being promised to another hurt more than anything in the world. “Yes Hawke?”
“I have to tell you something and promise you won’t run away,” She said, her wonderful eyes were shimmering. Why did she look so sad? When Anders did not respond Hawke grabbed his shoulder. “Promise me.”
Anders gulped. Her hand made his entire shoulder burn. “I promise.”
Hawke staggered away from him. Silent tears ran down her face. “I’m in love with you.”
Anders nearly fell over. She loves me! How could he never see? Jemica told him herself that he had to be blind and stupid to see she didn’t. All those touches, blushes, and conversations... Hawke wasn’t just looking for a romp; she wanted him, all of him. He wanted to reach out and kiss her. To be hers, to swear his love forever…
“I love you so much that I don’t know what to do anymore. You’re so kind, compassionate, and perfect. Every day I think about you and what we could be sharing, but aren’t because I haven’t admitted how I felt. Please, if you’ll have me, I’ll love you till the day we die… I’ll fight for you and be with you through everything. I need you, I love you, and I can’t imagine life without you.” She confessed.
Oh my love, if only I could say the same… He wanted to make his own confession. He wanted to stand against the world with her… If only he could tell her how he felt. If only he could hold her every day and night. If only he could love her with all his heart. He wished he had met her sooner, he wished he had never accepted that damn spirit into his head. The mages did not matter, the Templars did not matter, and the world did not matter. He needed her as she needed him. No… You will hurt her; let her believe you don’t love her. The more sensible part of his mind said.
Anders gritted his teeth and looked at her. “I am flattered Hawke…” He said. No! I can’t, please don’t! He thought when she began to tremble. “But I cannot return your affections.”
Hawke began to cry very hard at that point. The sobs racked her body and Anders could not watch. He turned his back to her. This is for the best. She needs more. She deserves more… She then stormed out of the clinic, slamming the door behind her.
Maybe someday I can be with her…  Anders thought hours later as he prepared for bed. If only…